Nurturing Family Relationships

Ephesians 6:1-4; 1 Timothy 5:1-8
Related Sunday School Lesson, Family Bible Series, May 16

Imagine an angel suddenly appeared with an assignment – a simple little job – you are to fix America. No other instruction is given. Where would you start? If you are the political type, you might run for elected office. If you are an educator, you might conclude the need is best addressed through the schools. If you are religious, you would look at the church as the natural starting point.

With any of these, you are putting the cart before the horse. The place to begin is at home and with the family, specifically, your home and your family. All the others are second base, third base, and home plate. Each is important and eventually we need to touch them all, but none count if we don’t touch first base. First base is the family.

The most patriotic thing we can do is build strong homes. The question is: How can we nurture and build our families? Specifically, how can we raise our children in a way that honors God and builds the kingdom?”

This study deals with those questions. The focal passages are two of Paul’s best known statements on family responsibility. In Ephesians 6:1-4 Paul addresses both parents and children concerning their duties to one another. In I Timothy 5, Paul addresses families in general concerning the obligation to provide for their own. What are our responsibilities? How do we nurture the family?

Family members support one another. A key text in this regard is 1 Timothy 5:8. “If any provide not for his own he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” This is often given as an admonition to parents to care for their children. Indeed this is the first responsibility of every parent.

We live in a world in which the rising divorce rate and subsequent increase in the number of children in broken homes has resulted in much neglect. However, this particular text does not directly reference a parent’s obligation to a child, rather it points to a child’s obligation to his or her parents. The previous verses deal with widows in the church who cannot provide for themselves. The clear teaching is that families provide for and give support to one another for a lifetime.

Life is a cycle. There is that time when we nurture our children as their life begins. Inevitably, however, there comes a time when our children will nurture us as our life ends. This is a crucial issue today. With our ever-increasing lifespan, many situations exist that would not have only a generation ago. It is always a sensitive balance to care for elderly parents while continuing with our own lives. It requires adjustment and compromise on the part of the adult children. It also requires adjustment and compromise on the part of the parent.

Family members respect one another. Respect is required of children toward parents. Children are told to obey their parents “for this is right.” It must be noted it does not say “they are right.” Children obey because in the sight of God it is the right thing to do.

Ephesians 6:1-3 draws on the Old Testament command to honor father and mother. Paul directly links the obedience of children to their parents with the fifth commandment given to Moses at Mt. Sinai. Parents have an obligation to instill respect in their children. This comes from discipline and example.

There is a concept held in the western world that children naturally rebel against their parents. This would be considered a very strange idea in almost every other culture in the world. The truth is we raise children to rebel. Biblically it was not so.

Children are to be taught respect for their parents. I fear that we are not raising children by the standards of the Bible, but rather by the advice of the daily talk shows. (I define a talk show as a forum in which dysfunctional people tell other dysfunctional people how to live more dysfunctionally.)

But the shoe fits on the other foot as well. Parents are to give respect to their children. This is why Paul tells fathers not to “provoke” children unto wrath. The language here carries with it the idea of a respectful relationship with our children. Though we must discipline them, we treat them with dignity. Why? Because that is what families do.

Family members encourage one another. Home ought to be the one place in the world that I can feel good about myself. If the day-to-day world we live in knocks us down and beats us up, at least we can know there are people at home who believe in us. We need havens of encouragement. Nothing is more essential in this regard than nurturing each other in the Lord.

It is easy to tear our children down. To say things that destroy their self-image. Parents often do so without even realizing what they have done. This can be a problem with our elderly parents. It is easy to make them feel unwanted, unneeded, and in the way. Our job is to lift up, not tear down.

It does not require great effort to encourage. It is amazing how a few kind words can affect a person’s outlook on life. If you don’t think so, try telling a young child how special you think they are. Or tell your elderly mother that you love her. Do these things and watch the expressions change on their faces. Family members encourage each other.

One last word. Life is short and time moves so quickly. There will come a time when your once-precious family will no longer be together. While you have the chance, nurture one another. You will not regret it if you do. But you might regret it if you do not.