Most adolescents overwhelmed by hormones

QUESTION: Many of the struggles of the teen years are attributed to hormones. If that explanation is accurate, then what implications does it have for parents of early adolescents?

DR. DOBSON: First, understanding this glandular upheaval makes it easier to tolerate and cope with the emotional reverberations that are occurring. For several years, some kids are not entirely rational! Just as a severely menopausal woman may accuse her innocent and bewildered husband of infidelity, a hormonally depressed teenager may not interpret his world accurately, either. His social judgment is impaired.

Therefore, parents shouldn’t despair when it looks like everything they have tried to teach their kid seems to have been forgotten. He is going through a metamorphosis that has turned everything upside down. But stick around. He’ll get his legs under him again!

I strongly recommend that parents of strong-willed and rebellious females, especially, quietly keep track of the particulars of her menstrual cycle. Not only should you record when her period begins and ends each month, but also make a comment or two each day about her mood. I think you will see that the emotional blowups that tear the family apart are cyclical in nature. Premenstrual tension at that age can produce a flurry of skirmishes every 28 days. If you know they are coming, you can retreat to the storm cellar when the wind begins to blow. You can also use this record to teach your girls about premenstrual syndrome and how to cope with it. Unfortunately, many parents never seem to notice the regularity and predictability of severe conflict with their daughters. Again, I recommend that you watch the calendar. It will tell you so much about your girls.

QUESTION: How about adolescent boys. Do they have a hormonal cycle too?

DR. DOBSON: Their emotions and behavior are certainly driven by hormones. Everything from sexual passion to aggressiveness is motivated by the new chemicals that surge through their veins. There is, however, no cyclical fluctuation that parallels a menstrual calendar in girls. As a result, they can be more volatile and less predictable throughout the month than their female counterparts.

QUESTION: It is commonly understood that peer pressure causes teenagers to begin smoking and using drugs. Is that what really motivates them to pick up dangerous habits?

DR. DOBSON: That precise question was the subject of a recent survey. The researchers studied more than 16,000 schoolchildren in Orange County, Calif. They found that it was family members, not classmates or teachers, who have the biggest influence on whether children used drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. If teenagers felt that their parents or siblings approved of smoking, they were likely to follow suit. And if there was one person who could convince them not to participate, it was usually a member of their own family.

Many parents feel that this is an area that can be left to the schools, and they neglect to talk about it at home. But this study and others show that family pressure, not peer pressure, has the greatest effect on children. Another finding to come out of the investigation is that children are still dangerously unaware of the hazards of smoking. Obviously, the anti-smoking advertising campaign has not reached their tender ears.

Like other messages we want our children to hear, the responsibility to communicate them rests with parents. Talk to your sons and daughters when they are young about the dangers of cigarette smoking. Tell them that you don’t approve of the habit. Discuss the health hazards, including the risk of cancer and lung disease. And offer them professional help in quitting if they’ve already started. Warn them repeatedly about drug abuse and what it can do to the body.

Parents can make a difference in avoiding addictive behavior in their children if they take the time to teach them.

Send your questions to Dr. Dobson, c/o Focus on the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO 80903. These questions and answers are excerpted from books authored by Dr. James Dobson and published by Tyndale House Publishers. Dr. Dobson is the chairman of the board for Focus on the Family, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the preservation of the home. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Copyright 2004 James Dobson Inc.