Life on the other side of the fall

When Michael Flake, a Georgia Baptist resort missionary in Helen, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he immediately decided to keep it a secret. Fearful of losing his job – his family’s sole income – he convinced his wife, Natalie, that living the secret was the safest way.

Flake’s fears were valid, but keeping his disease a secret wasn’t the healthiest way to deal with bipolar disorder, says Michael Todd Wilson, a Duluth counselor often recommended by Focus on the Family services. Wilson did not treat Flake.

“Of course there is a possibility that he would lose his job, but even keeping it a secret there’s a good chance he’d lose his job anyway. If God called him, then God is big enough to take care of him through his honesty,” Wilson says.

“God calls us to be responsible for the things on our plate. If we have an illness, we need to be honest about it with the people closest to us.”

For families dealing with bipolar disorder, Wilson recommends they know the facts about the illness and have the freedom to talk about the disease with people who will be supportive.

“First, you need to be educated. So many have no clue what bipolar disorder is,” says Wilson, who directs ShepherdCare, a nonprofit ministry that helps ministers develop healthy self-care, with the goal of preventing ministry burnout.

Bipolar disease – which affects 5.7 million American adults – is characterized by cycles of depression and mania.

Sherri Brown

In a photo from an April 22, 2004 Index story covering their ministry, the Flakes spoke of the challenge of reaching those on their North Georgia mission field for Christ. Michael was known for his creativity and management skills in working with summer missionaries and local churches. The couple were commonly seen on the streets of Helen during the annual fall Oktoberfest which provided numerous witnessing opportunities.

“Depression is understood in our society, but mania is often so misunderstood,” he says.

Wilson describes the disease as a wavelength.

“The top of the wave is extreme mania, the bottom is extreme depression. The line through the middle is the baseline. Some people have wavelengths that aren’t very tall. Some might have extreme mania, but not extreme depression. While some people may cycle quickly between depression and mania, some may be in one phase for years.

“Here’s the tricky part. People are aware when they are feeling really sad. They may have thoughts of suicide. People around them see the slide. But when they’re going up – into mania – in the early steps you see a very happy and energetic person. They feel alive. Society praises them for that. Then the more negative parts of mania may start to show up – they don’t sleep, they might say and do things that hurt people’s feelings, they’re agitated, irritable, and may display erratic behavior such as over-spending and being sexually promiscuous. Life becomes out of control.”

One thing family members must understand is that the disease is often for life and will require medication.

“Obviously, God can heal anything. But he doesn’t always do that. This is life on the other side of the fall. This is a genetic disease, you don’t get it because you had an unhealthy lifestyle or you used drugs. If you have bipolar disorder you need to get professional help because it most often will never be fully resolved,” Wilson stresses.

Refusing to take medication is common among people with bipolar disorder.

“The issue is when they are manic they feel good and don’t like to take medication. That’s more so in this case because bipolar disorder is a disease that sometimes speaks for the individual.”

Accountability is the key to successful treatment.

“The individual with bipolar disorder can give someone close to him or her permission to give them feedback. That’s very important. The stronger the relationship, the more likely that honesty will break through the denial, but there are no guarantees.

“If bipolar disorder is your diagnosis, it is a lifelong struggle. Don’t ever think you’ve got it licked.”

Michael Todd Wilson is the author, with Brad Hoffman, of Preventing Ministry Failure which was released earlier this month. Hoffman can be contacted at michaeltoddwilson.com.

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