QUESTION: You have talked about how Barbie dolls place undue emphasis on clothing, possession, and appearance. But Barbie isn’t the only example of this adolescent influence in our culture, is it?

DR. DOBSON: No, our children are saturated with commercial stuff that has the same impact. More and more, we see adolescent clothes, attitudes, and values being marketed to younger and younger children. And rock and rap music, with adolescent and adult themes, finds eager listeners among the very young.

I believe it is desirable to postpone the adolescent experience until it is summoned by your child’s happy hormones. Therefore, I strongly recommend that parents screen the influences to which their children are exposed, keeping activities appropriate for each age. While we can’t isolate our kids from the world as it is, we don’t have to turn our babies into teenyboppers.

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QUESTION: Talk about a father’s impact on his daughter and what he should hope to accomplish through that relationship.

DR. DOBSON: Fathers have an incalculable impact on their daughters. Most psychologists believe, and I am one of them, that all future romantic relationships that occur in a girl’s life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her dad.

If he rejects and ignores her, she will spend her life trying to replace him in her heart. If he is warm and nurturing, she will look for a lover to equal him. If he thinks she is beautiful, worthy, and feminine, she will be inclined to see herself that way. But if he thinks she is unattractive and uninteresting, she is likely to carry self-esteem problems into her adult years.

I have also observed that a woman’s respect for her husband is significantly influenced by the way she perceived her father. If he was overbearing, uncaring, or capricious during her developmental years, she may disrespect her husband and question his judgment. But if Dad blended love and leadership in a way that conveyed strength, she will be more likely to live harmoniously with her husband.

These tendencies and trends are not absolute, of course. Individual differences can always produce exceptions and contradictions. But this statement will be hard to refute: A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter for the rest of her life.

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QUESTION: My children are still young and are doing fine now, but I worry a lot about the adolescent years that loom ahead. I’ve seen other parents go through some pretty terrible things when their teenagers began to rebel. How can I help my sons avoid that turmoil 10 years from now?

DR. DOBSON: The apprehension that you describe is well-founded, and many parents feel something similar today. The most important suggestion I can make is for you to redouble your efforts to build good relationships with your kids while they are young. That is the key to surviving the adolescent years. If they emerge from childhood with doubts about whether you really love and care for them, anything is possible during the turbulent teens. Boundaries, restrictions, and threats will be no match for adolescent anger, frustration, and resentment.

Author Josh McDowell has said that “rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” He is right. That’s why parents can’t afford to get preoccupied with business and other pursuits that interfere with the task of raising children. Kids are young for such a brief period. During that short window, they must be given priority.

Once you’ve done what you can to lay the proper foundation, I urge you to approach your parenting duties with confidence. Anxiety about the future is risky in itself. It can make parents tentative and insecure in dealing with their youngsters. They don’t dare cross them or deny their wishes for fear of being hated in the teen years. Teenagers pick up those vibes intuitively, which often generates disrespect in return. Don’t make that mistake. You have been placed in a position of authority over your young children. Lead them with confidence and care.

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Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO. 80903; or www.family.org. Questions and answers are excerpted from The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide and Bringing Up Boys, both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2007 James Dobson Inc.