Lessons learned: The power of listening

Jojo Thomas

Listening to people is just another way of loving them. ”

“Being thoroughly listened to feels so much like love that most people can’t tell the difference.”  Not sure who said that, or why it’s stuck with me.  The saying isn’t particularly well-crafted.  (It’s actually a bit awkward.)   But in its own quirky way, it captures a powerful truth – something effective ministry depends on.

We preachers are primed to talk.  On Sundays, we’re filled up with a word from God, and the message needs to be delivered.  The rest of the week, we serve people who look to us for direction, which means we’re expected (again) to share our thoughts.  Sometimes our vision for a better world, or church… or a better future for someone we care about, becomes like a fire in our bones.  It’s hard to shut up about it.  

But no matter how compelling my vision is, talking isn’t the key to seeing it take root.  Somewhere in between receiving God’s vision/truth myself, and seeing it take root in someone else, is this thing called listening.  It happens when a pastor takes time to walk slowly through the crowd before preaching, celebrating with folks who’ve been blessed & grieving with those who are struggling.  It happens when he has the humility to seek out opinions before announcing what’s next… so people feel valued and heard (even if the vote doesn’t go their way.)   And it happens when he asks enough questions to understand before prescribing a quick solution to someone’s problem. 

Truth is, listening is hard to come by in our world.  At least the kind that lets people share their whole story, with every twisted nook and cranny that matters.  Most of us are in too much of a hurry to make progress, or have deadlines to meet, or have allowed technology to shorten our attention spans.  That’s why encountering someone who’s not in a hurry, and who wants to listen more than talk is so revolutionary.  It’s like stumbling onto a window left open in heaven.

There’s a reason “most people can’t tell the difference” between being listened to and being loved.  It’s because there is no difference.  Listening to people is just another way of loving them.  And it sends a powerful message – especially in the current culture.

Funny thing about loving people.  It changes how they respond to you.  People listen better when they know you love them.  They’re quicker to forgive mistakes (a lot quicker!) when they know you love them.  And they’re more likely to consider following your leadership when they know you care about them.  That’s why leadership always starts with listening.

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Dr. G. J. (Jojo) Thomas served as the Associational Missionary Strategist for the Chattahoochee Baptist Association from May 2005 until his retirement at the end of 2025. Prior to his ministry with CBA, he served 23 years as the founding pastor of Annistown Road Baptist Church in Snellville, Georgia. He is a graduate of the University of Georgia, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary with a Master’s of Divinity, and New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary with a Doctorate of Ministry.